W

hen you lose someone, it can leave you in a deep dark depression and can even have an affect on your relationships. Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something that’s important to you. You may feel a variety of emotions, like sadness or loneliness. And you might experience it for a number of different reasons. Maybe a loved one died, a relationship ended, or you lost your job. Other life changes, like chronic illness or a move to a new home, can also lead to grief. Everyone grieves differently, but if you understand your emotions, take care of yourself, and seek support, you can heal.

You can love, lose and survive. You can fall to your knees and cry in pain. You can feel a horrible, crippling emptiness, yet recover and fill yourself up again. We all seem to survive it.– Dr. Phil

What Are the Stages of Grief?

Your feelings may happen in phases as you come to terms with your loss. You can’t control the process, but it’s helpful to know the reasons behind your feelings. Doctors have identified five common stages of grief:

Denial

When you first learn of a loss, it’s normal to think, “This isn’t happening.” You may feel shocked or numb. This is a temporary way to deal with the rush of overwhelming emotion. It’s a defence mechanism.

Anger

As reality sets in, you’re faced with the pain of your loss. You may feel frustrated and helpless. These feelings later turn into anger. You might direct it towards other people, a higher power, or life in general. To be angry with a loved one who died and left you alone is natural.

Bargaining

During this stage, you dwell on what you could’ve done to prevent the loss. Common thoughts are “If only…” and “What if…”

Depression

Sadness sets in as you begin to understand the loss and its effect on your life. Signs of depression include crying, sleep issues, and a decreased appetite. You may feel overwhelmed, regretful, and lonely.

Acceptance

In this final stage of grief, you accept the reality of your loss. It can’t be changed. Although you still feel sad, you’re able to start moving forward with your life.

How can I deal with Loss

Be Patient With Yourself

Give yourself time to accept what has happened.

Accept What You Cannot Change

One of the most frequent struggles you may face when you lose someone is a sense of being out of control which can lead to anxiety because you are not able to control when someone leaves you.

Find Strength In Others

Although it may feel like you’re all alone in your experience, try talking to someone who has experienced a similar loss or someone whose presence is a source of comfort.

Don’t Get Stuck

It’s easy to get stuck in this negative experience and all the emotions of it, so you need to work to prevent getting stuck in anger or bitterness. Do what you need to do to help you get unstuck. This can be different for everyone. You may find help in taking up a new hobby, or seeing a Therapist.

Celebrate Life

Whatever that means for you. Seek out things that you love and enjoy.

Call us at (888) 494-7788 or write us to set up your free consultation session.

Rachel Shimoni Simons Therapist

Rachel Shimoni Simons, LMFT

CLINICAL SUPERVISOR, PSYCHOTHERAPIST
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Jerri Werksman

Jerri Werksman, MSW

ASSOCIATE CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER
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